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INTERVAL
At first there is no road. It’s
only when a person begins it that it exists for others.
What follows is very much true.
Beginning with I’ve never read anything I’ve written. Not after it’s
been published. Not once. Not ever.
Not so with Ron.
He’s been known to visit with our
pages from time to time, preparing for an appearance, lecture, or
interview.
He has even read passages aloud
when invited to do so. Never minding, glad to oblige, gracious --
always that, so much so a gent, that’s Ron. But that’s not me. Can’t
do it.
Oh, I read and reread what I’ve put
down during the keyboard-clacking process of writing a book.
Ceaselessly shaping and shading. Striving for the right word in the
right place. Wondering what works, what doesn’t, trying very hard to
make the concepts Ron and I have developed interesting and inspiring
-- thought-connecting, too. Always hoping that it is written well,
praying that it is accepted well. Blissfully happy that after so
many months that something exists. Mostly terrified that once it’s
polished and put out there for public view, that each day that
dawns, zero people on planet Earth will care. Just another vestigial
waste of pulp, lost on the bookseller’s shelf, gasping for air, of
interest to no one. (Pssst! While you snore with happiness, this is
the nightmare of all writers, the sort of madness that haunts our
dreams the most.)
Closing in, this is not a
confidence thing. Hardly. Hold me upside down and give me a good
shake and believe me, confidence will pour out of my ears. But
still, I pretty much never begin a page without cursing my lack of
talent, or end one successfully dodging my helplessness. Because
regardless of what happens later, no matter how much sales are going
good, the books booming, pleasing the publisher and giddying those
that own their stock, no matter how kind and assuring the plaudits
and reviews, I long ago realized something, which in the interest of
accuracy, I will share with you now. Shhh . . .
I could have done better.
This is the torment I keep inside.
My inner reality. That the ideas and intellections that were so
golden in my mind back when, the thoughts that were winged with such
purpose and passion, when they circle and land, becoming ink on
paper, in part of my head I know that I could have done, well, just
so much better. That’s where my mind goes spinning away to hide when
I think about my writing.
Denigrating further, I have no
problem sharing with you yet another of my nutball lunacies, which
is the fear that many, most, who might turn to our books for
guidance, inspiration, or enlightenment would discover the
experience to be nothing more than an aberration, and that’s the
panic I live with regardless of their praise unending.
So again, since I don’t much care
for my writing, I’ve never read anything I’ve written. Not after
it’s been published. Not once. Not ever. Because even though no one
will ever know how hard I slaved, always, always turning in only my
best work, wanting whatever I write to have as much quality as
possible, I know in my heart of hearts that I could have done
better. And how do I deal with such bedeviled expectation? Easy.
As a Zentrepreneur, I not only know
that I can always do better -- I believe it. And understand this:
Believing is a Zentrepreneur’s most prized possession.
While some live the life they’ve
been given, Zentrepreneurs live the life they believe in.
For that is what Zentrepreneurs
are: believers who believe in living a life in which what they do is
one with what they are. Pursuing their passion for the possible,
perceiving a clarity of purpose, Zentrepreneurs endeavor to study
and practice, to live a life where the creative spark, the inner
illumination of spirit, talent, and uniqueness, is put into motion,
fostering growth that not only enriches their own life, but the
lives of others as well. But more than that, Zentrepreneurs have
made their lives noble and rich beyond counting by living a dream
defined. Exuberantly so. And how do they get to a place of such
happiness and light, where they have the courage and commitment to
follow their feelings and live a life where they can take charge,
create, and do? By simply doing no less than one thing only --
Believing they can.
Which is what we all need to do.
All of us. All of the time.
This book was born of a belief that
every time someone finds his or her own way, he or she paves the way
for someone else. That to journey our best life we need only to
begin on a path of enlightenment, but realize, please, that the path
to achieving your deserved greatness cannot be taught, it must be
taken. Only then can illumination be delivered.
Enter Federal Express.
There is a profound Japanese
proverb that states: “To teach is to learn.” I learned a
tremendously meaningful lesson one fortuitous mid-morning, beginning
innocently enough, with a package that came to me that day. At
first, the contents were common enough. A book. One of ours. A very
well-worn Zentrepreneur’s Guide with just the most beautiful note
along with.
Here it is, verbatim.
Dear Ron and Stuart,
Blessings to you for writing
this book. I could never express how wonderful, good and true your
teachings, inspiration and advice have been and continue to be for
me. Your words have given me the life-enhancing encouragement to
take the steps I have been wanting to take for years. It could have
never come along at a better time in my life and I refer to the
pages on a daily basis. (Note the extensive use of yellow
highlighter. The book’s condition due to my reading it over and over
while working out on a treadmill.) It would mean just so much if you
could both take the time to sign this for me. I wish there were more
people like you in this world to teach us to live our passion and
our dreams and not to look back. Your empowering words of wisdom
have changed me and I will carry them with me throughout my journeys
in life.
Well, now. I don’t know what you
might think after reading such a letter, so thoughtful and sincere,
and thank you very much, but I can tell you how it triggered Ron and
me.
Blew us away.
And want to know what? This
marvelous incident permanently altered my view, forcing me, for the
first time, surprisingly and stunningly to read a few of the
jottings I’ve put down, not only with fresh eyes, but more
importantly, through the eyes of another.
And want to know what else? The way
this person had descended on the pages of the book, embracing them,
isolating so many passages with such obvious focus and satisfying
belief, the luminous flash of yellow highlighter holding them bright
to the light, the way it was done, I realized she had to be serious
when she said the encounter with our words had changed her.
Changed me, too.
Enough to look back a bit at some
of the stuff I’ve written, the climactic moment, alas, not too
terrible, the excursion allowing me to recognize something that,
trapped in my own skin, I could not see before -- the unimportance
of trying to build a church out of my words. I was confusing content
with contentment, missing the true whisper of the words that within
the stillness spoke a message as old as the world: By doing
something that may help to change the circumstances of others, we
help to change the circumstances of ourselves.
This book is about change. More to
the point, it is a book about the ultimate dynamic of life, your
innate capacity to change your circumstance, perspective, and
direction, indeed the power that is yours to become the change you
wish to be. It is our fervent hope that this gathering of Wowisms --
these proverbs of possibility -- will ennoble your spirit, initiate
your mind, and encourage an awakening that engages and guides. you
to embrace your fullest essence and unlimited potential. Change is
the elixir of life. Open yourself to the wow and the wonder -- the
renewal it can bring -- remembering always, please, that you get the
life that you allow. And so, as we get started, let me say, may you
all become dreamers and doers and may you also remember this: While
some books change the way you think, some books change the way you
live. Either way . . .
Over to you.
--Stuart Avery Gold
Excerpted from Wowisms: Words of
Wisdom for Dreamers and Doers
By Ron Rubin and Stuart Avery Gold
Copyright © 2003 by Ron Rubin and Stuart Avery Gold
Reprinted by permission of Newmarket Press, 18 East 48 Street, New
York, NY 10017, (212) 832-3575
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